TRUMP ANNOUNCES NEW SOTU SITE

President Trump announced today that he is going to hold his State of the Union Address at the West Virginia Mountaineers stadium. Instead of inviting senators, congressmen and jurors EVERY person in attendance will be someone who has lost a loved one due to our horrible immigration policies.

He provided a short preview of his speech:

“Today we are here to discuss the State of the Union. And the State of the Union is THIS: EVERYONE in this stadium has lost a LOVED ONE TO ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT VIOLENCE.” And then he plans to stroll up and down the aisles getting the personal stories of as many people as who are willing to talk UNTIL MOST PEOPLE HAVE GIVEN UP AND GONE TO BED. “Let Chuck and Nancy have their rebuttals at 3am,” the Commander in Chief smirked…

A preview of the 2020 Democratic Presidential debates

The debate opens with a question from the moderator.

“Candidate #1, If elected how will you help the people of the United States?”

Candidate #1 “I just want to say that I really hate Trump.”

Candidate #2 “I hate Trump more than you do.”

Candidate #3 “I hate Trump more than all of you put together.”

Candidate #4 “I HATE Trump and everyone who voted for him.”

Candidate #5 “I HATE Trump and everyone who voted for him more than you do.”

Candidate #6 “I HATE Trump and everyone who voted for him more than all of you put together.”

Candidate #7 “I HATE Trump and everyone who voted for him and everyone who supports him, no matter how young.”

Candidate #8 “I HATE Trump and everyone who voted for him and everyone who supports him, no matter how young, more than you do.”

Candidate #9 “I HATE Trump and everyone who voted for him and everyone who supports him, no matter how young, more than all of you put together.”

Candidate #10 “I HATE Trump and everyone who voted for him and everyone who supports him, no matter how young. I also hate his family.”

Candidate #11 “I HATE Trump and everyone who voted for him and everyone who supports him, no matter how young. I also hate his family more than you do.”

Candidate #12 “I HATE Trump and everyone who voted for him and everyone who supports him, no matter how young. I also hate his family more than all of you put together.”

Candidates #13-20 “NO, I HATE THEM THE MOST!!!”

AND THERE YOU HAVE IT